I Love Tom DeLay!

Adieu or Au Revoir?

2006-04-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

"Melva Jean! How long is it going to take you to comb out my hair? I told you I have a lunch date, and I just can't be late!" I looked at my watch - the minute hand was inching toward twelve, and I was supposed to be meeting Tommi at Hogswallow's Hot Links at noon! My weekly set-and-comb-out at Melva Jean's Curl Up and Dye seemed to be taking forever today, but I wanted to look my best for Tommi.

Melva Jean sighed and exhaled a bitter cloud of Tareyton smoke. "I'm almost done, honey. Now hold still, or I'm gonna get Aqua-Net all in your eyes."

"Make sure you spray it good, Melva Jean, and don't forget to tease it extra-high the way Tommi likes it!"

"Tommi, Tommi, Tommi - that's all I hear you talk about anymore! When you gonna learn that man's no good?"

"No good? That's fine talk coming from you - speaking of which, when's Billy Earl coming back from Amarillo? I heard he's got him a hot little number stashed away in a motel over there," I said, mentally taking back the tip I usually left under the ashtray.

"Never you mind about Billy Earl. That man loves me to death. A truck driver naturally has to spend a lot of time on the road. Besides, he at least has an honest job."

There was an awkward silence as Melva Jean finished ratting and spraying my hairdo. As I got up from the chair and paid the bill (twelve dollars and not a penny extra) Melva Jean said, "Aw, honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I know how much you love him. I just don't wanna see you get hurt again, that's all."

"That's okay, Melva," I said, but I still didn't give her a tip as I walked out the door. I clattered down the street to my car. If I put the pedal to the metal, I could still be on time for Tommi.

He told me, when he called me last night at 3:30 AM from the Lucky 7 Lounge, that he had "somethin' real import'nt" to talk to me about. At least I think that's what he said, but it was hard to understand his slurred words. He told me to meet him at noon at 'our place'.

I couldn't sleep the rest of that night. My head was whirling, spinning fantasies like so much cotton candy. What could he want to talk to me about? Was he finally going to 'pop the question'? Whisk me away to the Marianas? Whatever it was, it sure had to be important for him to call me in the middle of the night. Lately I hadn't heard much from him, and I was distraught. What had I done, or not done - said or not said? But now, in retrospect, I knew he was staying away because he was planning a surprise for us! Visions of orange blossoms and wedding gowns danced in my head. What would Melva Jean say when I sashayed into the Curl Up and Dye with a big rock on my finger? "That's Mrs. Tom DeLay to you, Melva!" I'd say haughtily. They'd all stop laughing then. That'd put an end to the snide remarks made just loud enough for me to hear in line at the Piggly Wiggly. They'd all find out soon enough. I couldn't wait to wipe the smirks and the pitying looks off their faces.

I burst through the door of Hogswallow's, smoothing my hair and trying to still my wildly-beating heart as my eyes adjusted to the dim light. I deliberately slowed down, trying to appear casual as I glanced aroung the deserted room for Tommi. True to form, he was there early, sitting at the far end of the bar, a row of dead soldiers already lined up in front of him. For some unknown reason, we were the only patrons there.

"Gotcha a Lone Star," he said by way of greeting. "Siddown." He gestured to the dirty naugahyde barstool beside him. I spread a couple of bar napkins on it and gingerly seated myself on the wobbly stool. Jimmi Sue, the slatternly barmaid, glared at me as she slopped grimy water onto the bar with an elderly gray dishrag. I glared back. She, like all the others, would soon be singing a different tune. Ignoring her stink-eye, I turned to Tommi.

"What is it, darling?" I gazed into his wide-set yet fish-like eyes. He looked away, then cleared his throat loudly.

"You know I like ya a lot, don'cha, Butterbean?" Here it comes, I thought, the moment every girl dreams of.

"Y-yes, Tommi," I stammered, my heart pounding like, well, a hammer. I held my breath and willed my hands to stop trembling.

"You're a nice li'l ol' gal, I always said. But tell me, honeybunch, do you like me too?"

"Oh, Tommi, you know I do!" I gasped. "More than anything!"

"And folks that like each other do each other li'l favors sometimes, don't they?"

"Just name it, Tommi - it's yours!"

"We-ell," he began. I was beginning to palpitate.

"I don't know quite how to say it..."

"Go on," I urged him. He took a swallow of his Lone Star and ahemmed again.

"Well, the thing is, I was thinkin' about takin' a little trip."

"A trip, Tommi?" I visualized it - Scotland, Cancun, maybe Paris? A honeymoon in Paris! What would I wear? But of course Tommi would buy me a lovely trousseau. I made up my mind that we'd get married on top of the Eiffel Tower.

"Tha's right, sugar beet. I been thinking about making a change."

"A change, Tommi?"

"Yeah, doll baby. I think I might like to move. It's getting a little warm here in Sugar Land."

"I know what you mean, Tommi. It's awfully hot here, especially in the summertime." I was thinking now, maybe Switzerland! I imagined Tommi and I in cute matching ski outfits, schussing our little hearts out together in the Alps. I'd never skied before, but I'd sure learn!

"But what about your important work?"

"Uh huh. The thing is, I'm retiring from the guv'mint."

"Retiring?" I exclaimed.

"They begged me to stay in Washington, o' course, but I insisted."

"So what will you do now, Tommi?"

"Well, I sure would like to take a nice trip to someplace cool", he said.

"Oh yes," I breathed.

"So, darlin', what I wanted to ask you..."

"Go on..."

"What I wanted to ask you, since we like each other so much..."

"Yes..."

"...is how much money you got in the bank?"

"Why, Tommi!" I blurted. "About ten thousand or so, that I've been saving up ever since I was a little girl, for..." I blushed, too embarrassed to go on.

"So, my li'l banana fritter, how'd you like to take a nice trip?"

"Oh, Tommi!" I squealed, flinging my arms around him and nearly knocking over his latest Lone Star, "yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!"

"Easy there, cupcake! Now here's what I want you to do. Go to the bank and take out that ten grand. Then bring it all back here, and I'll go and get a ticket - uh, I mean a couple of tickets!"

"Where to, Tommi?"

He winked and said, "It's a surprise, darlin."

"As long as we're together, I don't care where we go!"

"Uh, yeah," he said uncomfortably. "Hurry back, now!"

At last! All my dreams were coming true! I was so ecstatic that I couldn't even manage to be mad at slutty ol' Jimmi Sue as she shoved the bill for Tommi's 16 beers at me. I hurriedly paid it (no tip for Jimmi Sue) and raced out the door, headed for my car, the bank, all my money and my new life with Tommi!

As I ran, in my head I practiced the only French I knew. "Au revoir, Melva Jean!"

Who'll have the last laugh now?

I blame myself!!!

2006-04-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

We here at I love Tom Delay blame ourselves for the recent announcement that our Tommi is leaving the House of Representatives for greener pastures. We will never forget, Tommi, even if you asked us to.

Love,

Blue Gal
Alicia
Helen Wheels

It has been far too long....

2006-03-30T08:58:00.000-08:00

Our dear Tommi has been licking his wounds (would that he would let me help!) and recovering from the ill-treatment he has received...like a saint! Which is why I was so glad to see this image, and to read the following:

Greeted by a standing ovation at the "War on Christians" meeting, Rep. Tom DeLay said, "The enemies of virtue may be on the march, but they have not won."

Amen, Tommi! And while I'm happy that someone reveres Tommi as he deserves, please, Tommi, do not retreat from the world so severely! We need your hotness, politically and physically! Keep it up!

Float, Float On

2006-02-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

Goodbye, Tommi?

2006-01-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

(cross-posted at Last Left Turn Before Hooterville and Blognonymous)

I begged him not to go.

"Darling," I cried, "If you only knew how much I need you! "

"I know, my sweet li'l ol' butterbean," he replied gently, brushing a stray blob of grease (or was it a tear?) from the corner of my quivering lower lip.

We met for lunch - perhaps for the last time? - at Hogswallow's Hot Links, an out-of-the-way bar and barbecue joint tucked in between a pawn shop and a check-cashing store down by the railroad tracks. It was dilapidated and foul-smelling, and the food was indifferent at best, but I always thought of it as 'our place'. How many lunch hours had we spent here together, gnawing on gristly porkchops that resembled nothing so much as shoe leather, gazing into each others' eyes and talking about our hopes and dreams? And now my world was falling apart. The man I loved - no, worshiped - was telling me that it was over; that the good times we had shared for so many years were about to come to an end.

"Tommi," I sobbed, clutching at his shirt front, already stained with barbecue sauce and snot, "Please say it isn't true!"

"Aw, now, honey, don't you go to cryin' like that," he said as he disengaged my hands from his shirt and took a swig of his Lone Star - his 9th since we sat down. (And if the truth be told, I think he'd had a few before he got there.)

"But I can't help it, Tommi! I'm so afraid! Everyone's saying the most awful things about you! That you're a...a...swindler and a thief, and...you've been doing all kinds of illegal things...and that you're going to jail forever and ever and ever!" Overcome, I put my greasy napkin to my face and burst into a torrent of tears.

For a moment all was silent save for the sound of my sobs and the braying of Toby Keith blasting from the jukebox, exhorting us to "Get Drunk and Be Somebody" - a request that Tommi was obviously eager to fulfill. Then, to my surprise, Tommi leaned back in his chair and began to laugh. He guffawed until the tears began to roll down his face as well. Then he'd chug another swig of Lone Star and laugh some more.

"What's so funny?" I sniffed, unsuccessfully trying to wipe away the black streaks of Great Lash that had mixed with the grease and tears.

"Oh, cupcake," he said at last, gasping for breath, "I thought you were talkin' about somethin' serious there for a minute!"

"I was, Tommi! This is the end, isn't it? After all, bribery, strong-arming and corruption are serious charges! They'll lock you up and throw away the key! What will I do without you? And it's not just me who needs you, Tommi - what will the Republican Party do without you? They're already falling apart without you there to coerce - I mean, guide them with your wisdom!"

"Now, sweetcakes," he said, his eyes glistening if not exactly focusing, "do you honestly think there's anyone out there that can take on the Hammer and not get their head bashed in? I've already shut down those scurrilous and completely untrue advertisements that some liberal weenies tried to get on the air. Let that other fella - what's his name? Abra - uh, Abra-ham - Abra-cadabra?"

"Abramoff," I whispered. "Jackie-boy, you used to call him."

"I did? Can't say I recall that. Well, anyhoo, like I was sayin', that Abrahoff fella can take the heat for this one. I got too many good friends to ever get in any real trouble. After all, honey, I'm just a bidnessman. Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a good bidnessman, now, is there? Course not. That's what America is all about. They're just jealous cause I'm so successful. When you're at the top, there's allus sumbody tryin' to take you down. But the Hammer don't swing that way, baby girl."

"You're right," I said softly, feeling ashamed. "I never should have doubted you, Tommi. It's just..."

"It's only for a little while, doll face. Just gotta lay low till this all blows over." He leaned over towards me. "Hey, hon, you gonna drink that beer?" He reached for the Lone Star untouched in front of me.

"N-no, Tommi," I said. "You can have it." Somehow my stomach was feeling a little queasy.

He swilled it down in one long gulp, then smacked his lips appreciatively. "Hoo wee! Hair o' the dog! Hey, Jimmi Sue," he called to the tobacco-chewing slattern behind the bar, "How 'bout a coupla Lone Stars for the road?"

"Sure, Tommi," she drawled. As she set them down on the table along with the check, he picked up his beer, flashed that toothy grin, and blew me a kiss as he ambled out the door into the noon sunshine.

"Call me," I cried as he walked away. I had a feeling it would be a long time before I saw my darling Tommi again.

"Hey, are you going to pay that check or you gonna sit here all day staring out the window?"

I sighed as I reached for my wallet, knowing that somehow, some way, Tommi would be all right.

But would I?

Would I?

Once again, Tommi puts the good of the party ahead of his own ambition...

2006-01-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

Delay abandons bid to remain House leader. [link]

All I can say, Tommi, is we will never, ever forget.

Tommi - even as an outlaw, he's hot!

2006-01-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

photo from the wonderful Bring It On!

It's De-Lady!

2005-12-31T13:18:00.000-08:00

The night is young, The jail date near,
And if Jack Abramoff’s talking, dear
It's de-frightful, it's litigious, for De-Lady

Earle understands the reason why
You're in trouble, 'cause he don’t lie
It's de-frightful, it's litigious, for De-Lady

You can tell at a glance
What scandal awaits your confidants
You can hear bloggers murmuring low
“To jail you go”

Oh, you’ll be beat, with your cronies,
And when we diss you, just save your pleas,
'Cause "its de-frightful, it's litigeous,
It's de-testable, it's de-sturbing,
It's di-scusting, it's dis-tasteful,
You're de-loser , You're De-Lady!"

(My deepest and sincerest apologies to Cole Porter)

Cross-posted at: Just Ain't Right

B.F.F.? Dubya Says "I Do"

2005-12-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

...love Tom DeLay! Yes, President Bush has come right out and said it. He believes in our Tommi; more than that, he loves him and needs him. According to the L.A. Times,

President Bush said Wednesday that he believed indicted Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was innocent of money-laundering charges and expressed hope that his fellow Texan would regain his post as House majority leader.

"I hope that he will [return] because I like him," Bush said in an interview with Fox News. "And plus, when he's over there, we got our votes through the House."

So, immediately, what do the whiny, shrill Democrats do but kick up jack over a little loyalty, accusing him of practically 'jury tampering'! Can you believe the nerve? Fortunately, good ol' Scotty-boy McClellan shut them up right away, telling those insolent nobodies that it was the President's prerogative, and so there! He can say what he wants cuz he's the President! I mean, duh! Take that, liberal weenies! Plus, Scotty called Tommi "Leader DeLay", so you know it's only a matter of time until Tommi is right back in action, getting those votes through the House as only he can do!

Thank God for our President!!!

2005-12-15T16:47:00.000-08:00

President says DeLay is not guilty of money laundering.

Hooray! At least someone in Washington is standing up for our Tommi! And it just happens to be the commander in chief, the head of the executive branch, and our new hero. It's about time someone showed our beloved Leader just how much all of Washington is in his debt.

Now maybe that judge and prosecutor will just shut up and go home. I mean, if the President says you're innocent, doesn't that mean an automatic drop all charges kind of thing? I thought that's what happened. Didn't that happen for Nixon?

I'm gonna write our President and tell him I think it's just great but if he really means it he should write it down and make it an official pardon. Isn't that what it's called?

Tainted Love

2005-12-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

Standing Behind Tommi!

2005-12-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

(Welcome to the beautiful people from Crooks and Liars. Get the full "I Love Tom DeLay!" site here!)

So much for those fair-weather nay-sayers.

I'm not the only one sticking by Tommi in his hour of need. None other than 'Swingin' Dick Cheney has stood up for friendship, loyalty and reciprocity! He showed serious love to our embattled Tommi by headlining a lovely, lavish fundraiser in Houston last Monday night, telling a rapt, upscale audience that he was "no fair-weather friend". At least that's what I heard from a little mouse, because no pesky, unfriendly Liberal Media were allowed into this swanky soirée, and neither were the annoying, screechy 'professional' protesters milling around outside, whining and holding up their stupid little signs. As if Tommi or Dick or anyone else inside gave a hamster's heinie about what those sore losers think. Veterans? Commie peaceniks? Everyone knows they don't count anyway. It's the folks inside, the ones paying $500 to $4,200 to attend this glamorous gala event, who matter. And they are the ones showing love, support and major simoleons to our darling Tommi.

(To be brutally honest, I think that Dick Cheney was hoping some of Tommi's powerful mojo would rub off on him - with a 19% approval rating, he needs to be seen with someone more popular than he is. Tommi just gives and gives and gives!)

Speaking of giving, lest you think that conservatives are not compassionate, let me tell you this little tid-bit. Conservatives are all about the love, no matter who gives it. Magnanimously, they allowed a feminazi protester from Code Pinko into the party - for only $50! Talk about your Big Tent Sale!

Crying Like A Bitch (or, What Would Tommi Do?)

2005-12-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

Some people have no pride. No guts. No game.

Here's the Dukester. So he has some good friends who take care of him, and, naturally, friends return favors. What's so bad about that? Isn't that what friendship is all about? So he likes nice things. Who doesn't? I like nice things myself. Sue me.

So a bunch of 'soak the rich' liberal commie moonbats get their frilly pink panties in a twist - about what? That the Dukester is a swell guy and a loyal friend, and maybe has a little sump'n-sump'n to show for it? A little bling-bling? They're just jealous that they don't have nice friends, so they have to attack the people who do.

Really, 'corruption' is such an ugly word, don't you think?

Oh, sure, last summer he sounded like a stand-up guy, giving as good as he got. He swore up and down (a regular thing with him, the swearing) that he was completely innocent and would be vindicated, that he had never ever done anything that was not honest and aboveboard, that his whole life was one big shining example of sanctimonious righteousness. That he would fight those base and baseless charges to the bitter end.

Turns out, though, that when the 'bitter end' came along, he cried like a bitch. Like he just got pimp-slapped, clutching at his reddened, tear-stained cheek in horror and shame. What kind of man is that? No kind, if you ask me. A girly-man. A weak sister.

Now, Tommi - he's a man. You won't catch my Tommi blubbering like a baby who's peed his diaper. Never complain, never explain.

Tommi knows that you never, never, never admit wrongdoing of any kind, ever. Just attack back. The best defense is a great offense. Hold your head high. Smile when you say that, son. Show those pearly whites. It's worked like a charm so far. You wait, he'll be back as Majority Leader in no time, while the Dukester is filling up his dance card up to the Big House.

The CHECK is in the mail, Tommi!

2005-12-06T07:05:00.000-08:00

Ooh that biased, unfair judge! Tommi's defense attorneys did their best yesterday to tell the judge, and the entire nation, that our Tommi was not dealing in "funds" as the law says he is not supposed to do, but simply dealing with "checks."

In trying to have those charges thrown out, the defense argued that the Texas money laundering law does not apply to funds in the form of a check, just coins or paper money. But the judge said that checks "are clearly funds and can be the subject of money laundering." (AP)

The judge said that checks and funds are the same thing, but EXCUSE ME...my bank is always telling ME that my checks are not the same as funds!!! Sometimes they won't even convert my check into funds because they are SO not the same thing!!! So what's up judge?!? Perhaps we should have a little look at YOUR bank account, huh???

And exactly how much money are we talking about here? Well, we are talking about one hundred and ninety thousand dollars. I do not have room in my purse for that kinda money!!! Even in hundreds! So how can the judge expect Tommi to carry that around in his wallet as cash? OF COURSE it was as checks. The judge is simply crazy.

Pardon me for gushing, but look here. Tommi is way cuter than his security detail, cuter than the prosecutor, even cuter than his own defense attorney!!!

Oh, Tommi! The check is in the mail!!!

Keep It Up, Tommi - Your Chin, That Is!

2005-11-21T20:12:00.000-08:00

Monk over at Inflatable Dartboard has a helpful suggestion for Tom. Don't let the stool pigeons and turncoats get you down, darling...we'll be here for you, always! Stay strong, Sugar!

Say "Cheese"!

2005-11-15T19:01:00.000-08:00

I think that Tommi's mug shot may be the best photograph I have ever seen of him...and I've seen lots! Just look at those pearly whites, those twinkly eyes, that sexy, insouciant, devil-may-care grin. What red-blooded all-American gal wouldn't just swoon over that? Seems that indictment brings out the best in him!

L.L. Cool T.

2005-11-15T07:57:00.000-08:00

Lobbyists show love to Tom DeLay! From the Washington Post:

The capital's most prominent Republican lobbyists are going out of their way next Thursday to show their support -- financial and personal -- for former House majority leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.).

More than five dozen lobbyists are named as members of the host committee for a fundraising reception in the District to benefit DeLay's reelection campaign. The event, to be on the ninth floor of 101 Constitution Ave. NW, Capitol Hill's hottest new lobbying venue, is expected to be the largest fundraiser for a single member of Congress this year.
Host committee members said that the event is as much about symbolism as dollars. "This is more than just a fundraiser," said Wayne Berman of the Federalist Group, a lobbying firm. "It's a way of saying that an important part of the Republican establishment supports Tom DeLay now and will continue to support him in the future."

"It's intended to demonstrate moral support as well as generate dollars for what's expected to be an expensive campaign," agreed Richard D. Shelby, senior vice president of the American Gas Association.

Host committee members are expected to give the maximum $2,100 personal contribution or to raise $5,000 for DeLay's reelection. The fundraiser was organized by some of DeLay's staffers-turned-lobbyists after his indictment in September and the loss of his leadership post. A Texas grand jury indicted him on a conspiracy charge stemming from a long-running campaign finance investigation, and he later was indicted on related money-laundering charges. DeLay has denied the allegations.

Listed as host committee members are the top executives of the National Association of Manufacturers, the Edison Electric Institute and the American Petroleum Institute. Presidents of several major lobbying firms are also included.

At least some smart cookies are hangin' tough with Tommi. Go, K Street! Go, K Street!

Hardest Working Man In Politics

2005-11-15T07:35:00.000-08:00

Get ready for the Big Payback!

Where's Tommi When You Need Him?

2005-11-12T20:05:00.000-08:00

The Republican Party is already starting to fray without the strong leadership of our darling Tommi. Back in the good ol' days, when there was important legislation that needed to get through, it was a simple matter of Tom having a friendly chat with any rogue backsliders, and, by golly, things got done! No pesky Democrats could interfere when The Hammer was in charge! Now the House Republicans don't seem to be able to find their heinies with both hands and a flashlight. How are they supposed to know how to vote if Tommi's not there to guide them?

But if I know my Tommi (and I do!), he's 'making a list and checking it twice', if you know what I mean. He knows who's being naughty and who's being nice, and when he's cleared of these outrageous and baseless accusations and back in charge where he belongs, it'll be payback time. So I just hope all you Republican House members are minding your P's and Q's while Tommi's away, or you'll be very, very sorry! Don't even think of doing anything stupid like 'voting your conscience'. You better watch out, that's all I'm saying.

Don't Hate Me 'Cause I'm Beautiful

2005-11-12T15:54:00.000-08:00

Down Girls! Down!

2005-11-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

It's hard to control ourselves, but we must. (Photo from the most excellent blog Inflatable Dartboard.)

OH! There's the love!!!

2005-11-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

From WakeupWalmart.com:

"don’t forget the revelation last week about Wal-Mart and Republican Congressman and former Majority Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives Tom DeLay. Wal-Mart actually gave Tom Delay money 2 days after he was indicted. That’s right. Wal-Mart made a $5,000 contribution to support Tom Delay’s corruption 2 days after his indictment."

NOW THERE'S GRATITUDE FOR YA!!!

More devotion to our heartthrob...

2005-11-06T13:31:00.000-08:00

from bedobe (at) gmail (.) com via Daily Kos

from CheckRaise via Daily Kos

Ingratitude

2005-11-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

That Anne Northrup better hope she doesn't meet up with me in a dark alley. Why, that ungrateful (I can't say the word, but it rhymes with 'witch') - Tommi gives, and he gives, and he gives, and this is the thanks he gets?

Share the Love

2005-11-02T07:22:00.000-08:00

Now readers of I Love Tom Delay can see for themselves just how much their Congressional Representatives represent them. The Public Campaign Action Fund has scored members of Congress on not only how much Tommi loves them, but how much they love Tommi. The love offerings go back and forth, but shame on Anne M. Northrup of Kentucky, who took over $44,000 dollars of love from our Tommi, but has given a big ZERO to his defense fund!!! That's gratitude for ya.

By the way, you can contact the ungrateful rich
here.

Switchin' Judges

2005-11-01T14:55:00.000-08:00

Tommi doesn't like meany ol' liberal judges who give money to MoveOn.org and such... so says Kos:

"Hmmm. The independent judiciary takes another hit.

The judge in the money laundering and conspiracy case involving U.S. Republican Rep. Tom DeLay, one America's most powerful politicians, must step aside, another judge ruled on Tuesday.
Visiting Judge C. W. Duncan made his ruling without explanation after a hearing in which DeLay's lawyer complained that presiding state District Judge Robert Perkins had given donations to candidates and organizations opposed to DeLay, especially MoveOn.org, and could not be impartial in the politically charged case.

DeLay's legal team also wants the case moved outside Travis County (Austin). I hear he wants Judge Scalia to hear the case in Utah."

Tommi the rat weasels his way out again! See, all it takes is some under-the-table bribes and some scurryin'!

Jon Stewart on our Tommi...

2005-10-31T17:56:00.000-08:00

Jon Stewart on Tom DeLay's mug shot:

"Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's mug shot was an oddly happy photo, with an even more oddly happy inscription: 'Dear Mug Shot Picture Guy, Keep on launderin'! Conspiratorially, Tom'"

Animal Magnetism

2005-10-31T17:32:00.000-08:00

Robert at Left of Centrist shows us a peek into Tommi's power...

Thank you, Ann Coulter!

2005-10-31T08:21:00.000-08:00

from BartCop

GIBSON: What about DeLay['s indictment]? His picture is on the screen, as well.

COULTER: I think that is not going to inure to the Democrats' benefit, to be having this obviously political prosecution of a political enemy. No, that just shows them to be the fascists that they are.

Right on, Ann! And by the way, the website you are reading right now has never received any money from Tom Delay or any of his political ~~operatives~~ ~~affiliates~~ friends, so that probably means this whole thing is just the criminalization of politics like everybody says. [Heart tip: Media Matters]

Sharing the Love

2005-10-30T22:36:00.000-08:00

If you pay attention to the Liberal Media, you might think that people dislike Tom DeLay. But, as this site clearly shows, nothing could be farther from the truth! Fans from all over are sending us tokens of their love and support for Tommi. In the picture below, for instance, you can see that it is an expression of how 'hot' Tom is! And is he ever!!! Sizzlin'! The one below that shows Tom in a casual, tousled mode, looking like - a movie star! So don't try and tell me that I'm the only one who is enamored of this hard-charging he-man! G-r-r-r-r-r! And, back off, gals - he's mine! The rest of you may worship from afar.

Photoshop is fun!

2005-10-30T13:28:00.000-08:00

from A Far Distant Howl

from Ken Sein

FYI

2005-10-30T12:59:00.000-08:00

One thing I love about Tommi is his moxie in the face af his attackers. Just look at that insouciant grin! He looks as though he's taking his picture for the dust-jacket of his book, doesn't he? Hard to believe it's a mug shot.

StealthBadger sends along this explanation:

What's the Deal With Tom DeLay's Mug Shot?
Why doesn't it have numbers on it?
By Keelin McDonell
Posted Friday, Oct. 21, 2005, at 2:52 PM PT

!
On Thursday, Tom DeLay reported to the Harris County sheriff's office in Houston to post bond and get fingerprinted. DeLay also posed for a mug shot. The photograph shows a face-forward DeLay grinning; it doesn't show him in profile or holding a placard of identifying numbers. Is this happy-go-lucky photo a real mug shot?

Yes, though advances in technology have made mug shots pretty much indistinguishable from normal photographs. During the last decade or so, most state and federal bond offices have made their entire booking process digital. (For one, most jurisdictions no longer take fingerprints using an ink pad but use biometric scans instead.) Mug shots now typically get taken with a digital camera. The accused's personal identification number (those digits that used to appear on a placard in front of the arrestee's torso) and other data like gender, eye color, and birth date, get recorded on the side of the photo. (You can see DeLay and his booking information in this uncropped version of the photo.)

Photographing criminals in profile was once considered essential. But since the advent of digital photography, the profile shot has become less common. (Practices vary from state to state, but Texas now takes only frontal pictures.) A side-angle photo once helped officers to identify criminals who tried to disguise themselves, as it's more difficult to alter your profile than your face-forward appearance. However, now that computer programs are used to compare photographs instead of the naked eye, profile shots aren't as useful.

Show Tommi Your Love

2005-10-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

If you have some Tom DeLay goodies, please don't hesitate to share them with the rest of the class! Email any one of us with your artwork, articles, or anything else that shines a spotlight on our beloved Tommi.

Treats From Robert

2005-10-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

These are from Robert at Left of Centrist...enjoy!

Wow...

2005-10-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

...just - wow.

From John's Blog

Harriet is welcome here anytime...

2005-10-27T09:54:00.000-07:00

Bobblehead leader from Falafel Sex.

"When you're smiling" leader sing along from Goonland. Thanks, GW

Tom will get through this...

2005-10-26T06:40:00.000-07:00

From Helen Wheels.

From Falafel Sex.

Kicking Things Off...

2005-10-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome to "I Love Tom DeLay!"

2005-10-25T21:00:00.000-07:00

...the headquarters for all things Tommi. Here, we'll be featuring artwork, commentary, and fun facts about Tom DeLay, so stay tuned!